


Dancing in the mirror, singing in the shower

by Maxyfairy



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race (US) RPF
Genre: But mik is trans, Feels, First Kiss, Idiots, It isn't mentioned in more than a small detail, Jealousy, M/M, Mik is trans, Tw: Covid (just mentioned in the background), Visiting, facetime calls, implied rosénali, talking is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:42:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29567691
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxyfairy/pseuds/Maxyfairy
Summary: Joey visits Mik in Los Angeles while the fifth episode airs. Feelings are all over the place. Will they get their shit together?
Relationships: Gottmik/Joey Jay (Drag Race)
Kudos: 17





	Dancing in the mirror, singing in the shower

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Lovlies,  
> I want to thank Chaoticnachokitten for betaing this monstrosity and helping me with details and adding ideas <3.  
> This is the longest story I have ever written up to this point,so enjoy

"Hey Gorge." This was how Joey was greeted by Mik over facetime. 

"Hey Baby, what are you up to?" Joey couldn't hold his smile back. He was really excited to talk with the younger man. 

"Oh nothing much, I was just about to take a shower actually." Mik admitted. He put the phone down on a board next to the shower, so that nothing was to see except the ceiling.

"Go ahead, I have to paint my face anyway. I have a shooting later in the day. I just wanted some nice company." Joey explained as he sat down at his makeup vanity, positioning the phone so his face was centered and the other one could see him and his progress when he finished his shower.

"A shooting? I love that for you. What are you shooting? A look or some new merch?" Mik asked as he turned on the shower. 

"A look." Joey gave as a short answer. He didn't want to tell Mik what the look was going to be just yet. All his make up was scattered around the small drag room. His foundation was luckily directly in front of him on the vanity. 

"Are you going to wear a wig?" Mik asked further. Meanwhile Joey began to put on his foundation and cream contour and highlight. He had glued down his brows beforehand and painted them on, so that it wouldn't take so much time when he talked to Mik. 

"I'm not sure yet," he said as he blended his makeup together on his face. "No wig is my brand, but maybe I need a wig for this look." 

"Are you going to tell me what you're wearing, so I can maybe help you with that decision?" Mik questioned, trying to get more details out of Joey. In the meantime Joey set his face with setting powder. 

"Not now, you'll see soon enough Baby." Joey teased him just a little bit. "Wait a second I have to find the eyeshadow palette that I want to use." He could hear Mik laugh over the phone. 

"It's the ADHD." Joey explained with faux seriousness. Mik laughed again. He really liked to hear the younger one laugh, even when it was because of him. "It's always the ADHD with you."

"Damnit where did I put it." He cursed as he dug through his drawers. 

"Maybe it's in the fridge." Mik tried to help. 

"Why would I put an eyeshadow palette in the fridge?" Joey questioned with furrowed brows. 

"Somebody told me once to always look in the fridge first if you're looking for something. I mean it was a crazy person, but I have found stuff there before," Mik stated. "Mostly in the mornings after wild parties, but that's not the point. Just try it Babe." 

"Okay, fine I'll look there." Joey gave in and went into his kitchen. He opened the door of the fridge and the palette wasn't there. Slowly he opened the freezer door, but the palette wasn't there either, so he went back into the drag room.

"Told you it wasn't there Baby." He said triumphantly. That's when he saw it. The palette laid directly next to the phone on the vanity. Joey groaned and shook his head. "I found it,"he exclaimed, a bit embarrassed. 

"Oh really, where was it?" Mik asked interested. The sound of flowing water stopped, so Joey guessed that Mik had finished his shower. 

"Next to my phone." Joey said with a small voice as he rolled his eyes at himself. He still couldn't believe that he hadn't seen it there. 

"It happens." was all that Mik said to it. Joey began to create his false crease with a variety of purple shadows. They fell into a comfortable silence. 

"I miss you Babe," Mik expressed out of nowhere. Joey's heart fluttered a bit. 

"I miss you too Baby." Joey stopped blending the shadows and put the brush down. He smiled fondly at the screen that still showed the wall. That's when a thought crossed his mind. "We should meet up sometime. I could come over and visit you," Joey suggested. Mik appeared on his phone screen with wet tousled hair and a red face. It had to be from the shower, Joey guessed. 

"I'd like that." The younger one smiled. "But how would you get over here? There are still no flights till at least the middle of February." Joey thought for a bit. 

"I could take the bus or drive over with my car." 

"That would be a long time driving and an even longer time sitting in the bus." Mik told him with a frown. "Damn over seven hours with the bus." He exclaimed, shocked. 

"How do you even know that?" Joey wanted to know. 

"I just googled it on my laptop." Mik explained. Joey hadn't noticed that the other one had sat down at a desk or something. "Are you sure you want to sit in a bus for that long?"

"You're worth the time, Babe," Joey said casually and winked, but he was glad that he already had his foundation on or the other one would have seen his blush. Mik smiled softly. 

"When are you free to come to LA, Angel?" he asked. 

"Today's Tuesday, so I'm free from Thursday till Wednesday. I took some time off from work anyway, but I have another project on Thursday next week that I can't reschedule. When are you free?" 

"The time is great actually, my roommate is out during that time, so we have the apartment for ourselves. I have a shooting on Friday, but you could come with me if you'd like, maybe we could even get some pictures taken together if the photographer is up to that." Mik contemplated.

"Sounds great. I'll look for a bus connection later and let you know when I'll be there," Joey said. 

"Shouldn't you continue to paint?" Mik asked, amused. 

"Oh my god, you're right. I'm so easily distracted." He rolled his eyes at himself, picked his brush up again and dipped it in more purple eyeshadow. 

"When are you going to tell me what shooting you're doing today?" Mik asked curiously, trying to see what Joey was doing. 

"I'll only tell you that it's a look I would have worn on drag race, but didn't get to do. You'll see." Joey chuckled, while he began to work on his cut crease. 

"I love that for you. By the way, I found a bus connection that I'm sure you'll like, I'll send you the details later, Angel," Mik announced. 

"That's so nice of you, Cutie," Joey said as he began to pat glitter eyeshadow on his eyelids. "But you didn't have to do that. I could have done it after the shoot." 

"If it wasn't for me or our sisters of season 13 you'd forget your head somewhere." Mik deadpanned with a chuckle.

"Not true." Joey pouted. He was now painting on his eyeliner.

"It's so true Gorge. Ask Kandy or Rosé. How often did they save your cute ass on drag race? Almost every time. Remember, if it wasn't for them you would have walked on the runway with missing nails or just one eyelash. It's cute how chaotic you can be sometimes," Mik told him.

"Shut up," Joey mumbled embarrassed while trying to get his eyeliner to match on the other eye. Mik watched with amusement.

"One day I'm going to paint your face," Mik mused. 

"Sure, why not. That can totally be arranged," smiled Joey. He was done with his eyes and began to put on contour powder, blush and the lips. 

"What highlighter colour should I use, lavender or a silvery white?" Joey asked for Mik's advice. The younger one thought for a few moments and took Joey's make up in. 

"I would do the lavender one and put a bit of the other one in the middle. Do you get what I mean?" 

"Yeah I get it. That should work. Thanks Baby." Joey smiled and set his face with setting spray. He picked up the lavender highlighter first and brushed it on his cheekbones, the bridge of the nose and under his brows. The silvery white one got dusted over the highlight on the cheekbones and he put it on the inner corners of his eyes. He glued his lashes on and blended the fake ones and his real ones together with a bit of mascara.

"So I'm done," he exclaimed cheerfully. 

"You look great. I still don't get how you can paint so fast while talking so much." Mik laughed. 

"Talent I guess," Joey quipped. 

"So are you going to put on a wig or not?" Mik inquired. 

"I'm still not sure. I have a new blonde one that would fit perfectly with it, but I don't know if I feel like wearing a wig today." Joey was unsure. His brand was no wigs, but he enjoyed putting one on from time to time. 

"You could just take it with you and decide there whether you're going to wear it or not," Mik suggested. 

"That's a good idea, thanks Babe." Joey blew Mik an air kiss. "I think I have to get going soon. Talk to you later?" 

"Sure. I'll text you the information," Mik said. 

"Okay thank you, love you." 

"Love you most. Have fun, Gorge." Mik made kissing noises and hung up. 

Joey let out a deep breath. He loved talking to Mik, but he felt like something had changed. Was it just his imagination or did the younger one feel it too? The entire cast cared for each other in a very special way, but when he talked to Mik, it was different. He sighed. Now was not the time to philosophize about feelings. 

His phone made a ping and showed him that Mik had sent him a message with the bus information. The younger one was quick. Joey didn't open it because he had to get going. 

The shooting went well. In the end he decided not to put on the wig. That way he felt more comfortable and at ease. 

When he was home again he dedraged and planned to take a hot shower to soak in. That's when his phone began to ring. It was a facetime request from Rosé. 

"Hey Love." Rosé greeted him. 

"Hello Gorgeous. What's up?" Joey asked, a bit tired.

"Nothing much. I just talked to Mik earlier. I am going to bed soon and wanted to catch up. What are you doing?" Rosé wanted to know.

"Work. I talked to him as well before my shooting. I was just about to take a shower, but that can wait." Joey answered.

"Oh you had a shooting? For what Mama?" 

"You'll see soon enough," Joey said. 

"That's not fair, I'm sure you told Mik about it." 

"Well, he saw my makeup, but not my outfit. I painted while he was in the shower." 

"Hot," Rosé teased. "You know I once said that Mik is the most attractive out of our cast."

"Shut up, I didn't see anything other than a wall," Joey mumbled. 

"Aww you're all flustered, how cute," Rosé playfully mocked him.

"I can always hang up on you." Joey was a bit annoyed. That wasn't what he thought the conversation with Rosé would turn out. He thought it would be a small friendly call, not this. Joey didn't understand where all this teasing was coming from. Rosé made some jokes from time to time, that was okay, but this was another, more personal level. 

"Don't be so mean." Rosé faux pouted.

"I'm not mean, you are mean," Joey retorted. "Why is it so interesting to you how I react?" 

"You never reacted like that when I mentioned one of the others before, so I thought I would have a little fun and tease you a bit," Rosé explained.

"Fun," was the only thing Joey said to that. "Anyways, I'm going to take my shower now. Sweet dreams Angel." He hung up and didn't wait for a response from Rosé. 

Finally Joey got to take the shower he so desperately needed to relax and get the last parts from his drag off. He put on one of his dancing playlist and began to sing along. The first song ironically was Phenomenon from the Porkchop group. He sang along while turning on the shower. As soon as the hot stream hit his skin he groaned. It was exactly what he needed. The songs randomly shuffled through his playlist and he sang along to every single one. He totally forgot how long he was in there and after around 30 minutes he stepped out of the shower, dried off and went into his room with the towel wrapped around his hips and the phone in one hand that still played music. Joey quickly changed into some clothes and because it wasn't that late he decided to check his phone for messages. He saw the message from Mik earlier with the information when the bus would drive over to Los Angeles. Seven hours and fifty minutes with a greyhound bus. Joey knew he would be faster with a car, but he didn't want to drive for five hours straight. He quickly booked a ticket and sent the details to Mik, just in case. 

Mik (8.32 p.m.): Are you back home?

Joey (8.33 p.m.): Yeah, why? 

Almost immediately after his response a facetime request from Mik popped up. 

"Hey Angel." Joey greeted Mik.

"Hey, Oh you're already dedraged." Mik noticed with rosy cheeks.

"Yeah I just got out of the shower actually." Joey said as he ran a hand through his wet purple hair and unintentionally flexed his arm muscles in the movement.

"Damn and I missed it." Mik pouted.

"When we get married, you can watch me shower all the time or we can shower together." Joey winked. 

"Oh yeah for sure, I'm looking forward to it." Mik laughed. "You know that we can practice for it when you visit." 

"We'll see about that, Baby." Joey chuckled. "Why did you ask if I was back anyway?" 

"I just wanted to talk to you," Mik told him. "Catch up after the shoot." 

"That's so sweet of you." Joey smiled. 

"So tell me about it. Did you wear the wig or not?" 

"No I didn't. I just felt more comfortable without it. The shooting was amazing and I think the pictures turned out really great. I'll get them in a few days."

"Work. I'm excited to see them." Mik grinned. 

"You will, soon," Joey promised. "How was your day?" 

"Boring without you. I talked to Rosé for a bit after you hung up earlier and I planned a bit for my YouTube channel."

"Yeah Rosé mentioned that. He called me before I took my shower. We didn't talk long though." Mik's eyes made a small flickering movement as Joey mentioned that Rosé had talked to him too. 

"Did he say anything about me in particular?" Mik asked a bit on edge. 

"He mostly just teased me about something and I mean I love him, but it was just too much for me at that moment and I hung up." Joey rolled his eyes as he thought about the moment. 

"You're such a drama queen." Mik finally laughed. 

"The one and only." Joey laughed too. 

"Are we going to watch the new episode together on Friday?" Mik asked. 

"Sure. Are we going somewhere or are we staying at your place?" Joey questioned. 

"Let's just stay in for this one episode." Mik contemplated, rubbing his chin. "I think that would be best."

"Okay great. I'm so excited to see you in person again, Baby." Joey smiled softly. 

"I am too. We're going to have so much fun, Angel." 

"As much as I would love to keep on talking to you, I think I'll go to bed soon," Joey told Mik. 

"Okay. I mean you're an hour ahead of me so that's okay. Sleep well my sweet little Baby Angel." Mik made some kissing noises. 

"Good night Baby. Love you." Joey blew a kiss back.

"Love you most," Mik said before hanging up.

-

The next day Joey packed his bag for the stay at Mik's and organised some other things. He also packed some make up, padding and an outfit, just in case. The entire time Mik was on his mind. Joey was really excited to see the younger man, maybe a bit too much, but he didn't put too much thought into it. 

In the afternoon he went to the gym and worked out for a while. Back home he stretched, put on some music and tried to dance to free his mind from constantly thinking about Mik. He didn't talk to Mik or texted him throughout the entire day and Joey felt bad about it. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to the other one, he really wanted to, but he didn't want to monopolise Mik's entire time because he would be over in Los Angeles for almost an entire week. He kind of gave him space, even though Mik didn't ask for it. 

Joey went to bed early because he had to get the bus at 5.35 a.m. Before he went to sleep, he sent Mik a message, that he was happy to see him tomorrow and asked if he would be picked up. 

That night Joey dreamed about Mik and the time they were going to spend together. In his dream they were almost glued together by the hips and did almost everything together. They had a lot of fun, but something seemed to be shifting between their dream selves. Joey didn't remember what happened last, the only thing he remembered when he was woken up by his alarm were Mik's blue eyes. He quickly got ready and made his way to the bus station.

Joey slept through most of the bus ride with music playing through his airpods. He woke up an hour before he would arrive in LA. Because he had nothing to do he checked social media for news and saw that the official rupaul's drag race site had uploaded the first act of the fifth episode. Nervous, because he knew vaguely what was coming, he pressed the play button. Seeing Kahmora's message was still sad. The mini challenge was probably the worst one they had ever done on the show. They showed Rupaul giving the description of the main challenge, a bag ball and that was it for the first act. Joey laid back in his seat and closed his eyes again. This week's episode was going to be exhausting to watch so he was glad that he was with someone and didn't have to watch it alone or in a bar with a lot of other people. 

The remaining time he had to sit in the bus quickly went by and he arrived at his destination. He departed the bus and saw Mik standing a bit further away from the station, waving at him. A big smile formed on Joey's face that was hidden by the mask he was wearing and he made his way over to the younger queen as fast as he could with a huge bag at his side. 

"Hey Babe," Joey said as he pulled Mik into a big hug. 

"It's good to see you, Gorge," Mik told him happily and intertwined their fingers. "Come on, let's get rid of your bag first." He pulled Joey with him. They walked through the streets of LA together and Joey took everything in. He had been here before, but there was always so much to see. The conversation between the two came easily and they talked about their previous day and what they could do while Joey was there. The weather was great so they decided to borrow the car from Mik's parents and drive to the beach. Once they got Joey's bag to Mik's apartment, they made their way to the beach. Mik drove because it was his parents car and he put on some music, even though it wasn't a long drive.

"Really, call me maybe?" Joey grumbled faux annoyed with a raised eyebrow. "I get the next pick." 

"That's okay. You can pick all the songs if you want, Angel. We'll be there soon though." A comfortable silence fell between them, only the music Joey chose played in the background. 

As they arrived at the beach they put on masks and took off their shoes to walk along the water line. They enjoyed the company of each other and just walked beside each other, their hands brushing from time to time. Holding hands was nothing new for them, they had done it earlier, but neither one of them had the courage to grab the other's hand now. After some time they sat down in the sand, their knees touching. Mik leaned against Joey's side and the older one put his arm around the younger one. 

"You know I meant it when I said I missed you," Mik mumbled. Joey's heart fluttered again. It was rare that the younger one showed his soft side. He was always confident and vocal about things he liked or those he didn't like.

"I know, Baby. I really missed you too," Joey answered softly. 

"I could sit here all day with you. We don't even have to talk." Joey just nodded to it. He felt exactly the same. Spending time with Mik was relaxing. They gravitated towards each other like two magnets. Both were really touchy persons, holding hands, cuddling or their knees touching. They felt most comfortable being near the people they cared about . 

"I really love it here, but we should head back. You have your photoshoot tomorrow and we should find something to eat. Maybe we could come back another day. We can cuddle more back at your place," Joey suggested. 

"Okay." Mik sighed and stood up. Joey offered to give Mik a piggyback ride back to the car, which Mik accepted and snuggled against Joey's back.

When they were back at Mik's place, they decided to make vegan pizza with a lot of fake cheese. They ate the pizza and afterwards cuddled on the couch. Mik cuddled closely into Joey's side again, Joey's hand in Mik's hair that played with the fine strands.

"Are you nervous because of the new episode tomorrow?" Mik asked carefully. 

"A bit. I honestly don't remember a lot from it," Joey confessed. 

"Everything will be fine," Mik said.

"I know, it's just frustrating. That's all." Joey looked at the ceiling. Tomorrow was going to be an emotional day. 

They stayed cuddled up on the couch, at some point Mik switched the television on, but Joey couldn't tell what they were watching. His thoughts were spiraling around the next day's episode and the man in his arm.

"Where am I going to sleep?" Joey asked after some time. 

"I was thinking that we are going to share my bed. That's not a problem, right?" Mik asked a bit unsure. 

"Not at all. Come on, Baby." He took Mik's hand and together they made their way into the bedroom. They changed into some sleep clothes and laid down next to each other. It was weird, almost the entire day they had spent together, they couldn't go long without some physical connection and now they laid next to each other without any contact.

"Come here." Joey opened his arms and Mik sighed with relief and laid his head on Joey's chest, an arm around his waist.

"Good night," Joey mumbled into Mik's hair. 

"Good night Baby Angel," Mik murmured against Joey's chest. 

Joey was the first one to wake up the next morning, with Mik still sleeping in his arms. They had changed positions throughout the night and now Joey laid behind the younger one, his right arm securely wrapped around Mik's waist. It was nice to wake up like this. 

Mik moved a bit and pressed himself even closer against Joey. Joey's heart melted. It was really cute how Mik wanted to be close to him, even when he was asleep. 

They stayed like this for a while. Joey just enjoyed the moment, while Mik began to stir and slowly wake up. He turned in Joey's arms.

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Joey chuckled lightly and tried to pull away from their embrace. 

"Morning," Mik grumbled and pressed his face into Joey's chest. 

"Not a morning person, I guess?" Mik shook his head. 

"I know you're the host, but should I make some coffee, Angel?" Joey asked. Mik just nodded. "You have to let go of me for that though." Mik made some noises that told Joey that he didn't want to. Slowly he peeled the younger one off of him and he made his way into the kitchen. 

Joey found the coffee machine quite easily, but he had to look through the cabinets to find some filters and coffee powder. He put the filters in the machine, measured the powder and switched the machine on. In one of the cupboards he found mugs and he looked for two cute ones. For Mik he chose one with the trans colours on it and for himself he chose a white one with a dandelion on it. While he waited for the coffee to finish running through the machine, he heard bare feet on the floor and moments later he felt Mik pressing himself against his back, arms around his middle and head rested on his shoulder. 

"Is the coffee done?" Mik asked, still sleepy. 

"In a moment, Baby. You could go and sit at the table, I'll be there in a minute." Mik didn't move. "Or you could stay attached to my back." He chuckled softly. 

"You're hot … I-I uhm I mean you're warm." Mik was clearly embarrassed about it. Joey wasn't sure what was going on, but he didn't say anything to it. Luckily the coffee was ready and he filled it into the two mugs and put some almond milk in them. He picked the mugs up and transferred them over to the kitchen table. 

"Thanks." Mik detached himself from Joey and sat down at the table, looking down. Joey sat down opposite from Mik. They remained silent, both just drinking their coffee.

"When is your photoshoot?" Joey tried to make some conversation. 

"At 1 p.m," Mik answered. Joey looked at the clock. That would be in around 4 hours. 

"I can come with you, if you want to, but I don't have to. I can find other ways to distract myself in that time." 

"I mean it's up to you, but I don't mind having you around for it," Mik said. 

"Okay, how much time till we leave?" Joey wanted to know.

"Around three and a half hours, I think." 

"Okay. I guess you have to put on your mug beforehand, so you go shower first." Joey considered. Mik nodded and they fell into silence again. 

Joey was lost in his thoughts. He really enjoyed the time he spent with Mik, but he still felt like something had changed. He couldn't wrap his head around it, but Mik was behaving differently than he used to back on the set. Maybe it was because the others weren't around, but Joey felt like Mik was more clingy than usual. It wasn't bad, Joey enjoyed it, but maybe he interpreted too much into the situation. Rosé had called him out on his little crush and if he had figured it out, maybe some of the others did too. Did Mik notice? 

"I'll go shower," Mik said and put his mug in the dishwasher and left the room and left Joey alone with all his thoughts.

Joey put his mug in the dishwasher as well and walked into the bedroom and collected his airpods. He went over into the living room and put his airpods in and let some music play. In his mind, music played through headphones or earbuds gave more intense emotions than just played on the phone. Mik's living room was pretty big so Joey decided to practice some dancing. He put his phone on the living room table and began to stretch a little before starting with some basic moves. WOW by Zara Larson came on and he let the music flow through his body and danced, trying to clear his head again. 

The music suddenly stopped in the middle of the song. Joey looked up and saw Mik with his phone in hand, smirking. He took his airpods out and lifted an eyebrow at Mik. 

"You know you were singing with your airpods in." The younger one chuckled. Joey flushed embarrassed, he hadn't realised that. He walked over to Mik.

"You can dance really well. I know I have seen you dance before, but I just realised how good you really are." Mik smiled. "The shower is free now by the way."

"Thanks," Joey said and took his phone back that Mik handed him. He walked into the bedroom again, picked out some clothes, his toiletry bag and went over into the bathroom. Joey saw that Mik had put a towel for him at the sink and he put his phone next to it. The shower was behind a big glass panel that clouded when he opened the tab and hot water came out. He tried to be quick with his shower. As he dried off his phone lit up and showed a facetime request from Utica. He wrapped the towel around his hips, accepted and put his phone onto the board above the sink.

"Hey Nugget." Utica smiled at him.

"Hey Utica." Joey greeted the tall man. 

"That's not your bathroom. Where are you?" Utica asked. 

"I'm in LA right now." 

"Ah I see," Utica said. "You're at Mik's, right?" Joey nodded and blushed. 

Just in that moment Mik knocked at the bathroom door.

"Come in." 

"Everything alright? I heard you talk," Mik asked, a bit concerned. He also blushed as he saw that Joey just wore the towel. Mik's eyebrows were already glued down.

"Oh yeah, Utica just called over facetime. Come say hi." Joey told him. Mik approached him and wrapped his arms around his middle again. 

"Hey Gorge." Mik greeted Utica. 

"Hey Miknugget." Utica chuckled. "I'll leave you two alone, just wanted to check in on you Joey, because I haven't heard from you in a few days. Talk to you when you're back home?" 

"Sure. I'm back on Wednesday " Joey replied. 

"Okay. Just text or call me. Bye you two," Utica said.

"Bye," they both echoed and the call ended. 

"Okay, I'll go and paint on my make up and you put on some clothes," Mik said and practically fled the bathroom. Weird, Joey thought, but finished his routine and put his clothes on. 

Joey exited the bathroom and searched for Mik. He found the smaller one in the bedroom, sitting at his vanity, putting the contour on his famous white clown makeup. 

"Hey, I'm finished." Joey said softly as he approached. Mik still jumped slightly, even though he had tried to be careful. He sat at the end of the bed and watched Mik. Their eyes locked from time to time and they smiled at each other, but they looked away quickly every time.

The shooting was fun. Joey took a lot behind the scenes videos for Mik's Instagram story. The mood between them was still a bit weird. They gravitated towards each other, but while Mik had been clingy before, he was distant now. Joey didn't understand, but maybe it was better that way. 

As they arrived back at Mik's apartment, the smaller one dedraged and took a quick shower. Joey just sat in the living room and scrolled through his social media. He liked a few posts and retweeted some things from his s13 sisters. 

It was almost time for the fifth episode to air. Mik joined him on the couch and swung his legs over Joey's lap. 

"Are you okay, Angel?" Mik asked. 

"Yeah. A bit nervous, but I'm glad I'm here with you."

The episode started and Joey began to absentmindedly draw lines and shapes on Mik's leg with his finger. The beginning was okay, a bit cringy to watch the mini challenge, but it was okay because he already knew that part. As the time progressed he got more nervous. He tried to focus, but it was hard. Joey noticed that every time Kandy said he had a crush on him, Mik shuffled closer to him. 

"You alright, Babe?" Joey asked as there was an ad break. 

"Yeah, what should be wrong?" Mik retorted a bit pissed. Was he jealous of Kandy? 

"Come here, Pumpkin." Joey pulled him on his lap, so that they were facing each other. His arms were securely wrapped around the smaller one, Mik's arms wrapped automatically around his neck. 

"Listen." He looked Mik deep into the eyes. "I'm here with you, not with Kandy." "I know." Mik rested his forehead against Joey's. They were impossibly close now. "It's just annoying to watch. We all know he had and maybe still has a crush on you, but who wouldn't honestly." 

Joey's breath stocked. Had Mik really said that?

"What?" Joey breathed. 

"N-nothing," Mik answered all flustered, putting some distance between them. 

"You said that you understand Kandy's crush on me, right?" Joey tried to understand. 

"Don't play dumb, you know that you're attractive, Bitch." Mik was a bit annoyed and playfully shoved him in the chest. 

"You know that I don't see that," Joey said softly, drawing a line up and down Mik's back. Joey opened his mouth to say something.

"Sshh the show is continuing." Mik put a finger on Joey's lips. 

"We're not done here," Joey whispered, pulling Mik closer again. 

The runways started and Joey hid his face in Mik's neck, every time he was on the runway. 

"You're not that bad, Baby, you can look." Mik encouraged him every time. Joey just shook his head. 

After the runways there was another break. 

They switched positions, Mik now laid on top of Joey, in between his legs, head on Joey's chest. It was really comfortable for both of them and they could still watch without any trouble. 

"Now comes the part I'm dreading," Joey said, playing with Mik's hair. 

"You don't have to listen if you don't want to." Mik told him. It was easier said than done, but Joey appreciated Mik's suggestion.

"Thanks, Baby. You did really well that week." He kissed the side of Mik's hair. 

The critiques went over faster than he had imagined. He knew that he was in the bottom back then. It hadn't been a good feeling and he didn't want to feel it again. He didn't really listen as the judge's talked with each other. The queens got called back onto the stage and Rupaul declared Mik the winner and told Rosé and Utica that they were safe. Only Lala, Tamisha and he were standing there. Tamisha was declared safe and the song began to play. Joey wrapped his arms tightly around Mik and looked away. He couldn't look at the scene of how Lala sent him home. 

"You did so great, Angel." Mik coed. "Your lip syncing was so good." 

Joey tried not to let the tears that began to collect in his eyes to fall. It wasn't working.

"It's okay to cry if you're disappointed. I'm here," Mik said, cupping Joey's face and softly brushing the tears away. They slowly sat up, Mik straddling Joey's lap again. Joey looked Mik in the eyes and Mik softly looked back. They were so close, but they were always so close when they were together. 

And that's when he kissed Mik, because it felt right and he wanted to. He pressed his lips softly against Mik's. The younger one sighed and melted against him and softly kissed back. They began to test the waters, lips carefully gliding against each other, not rushing anything, just enjoying the warmth of the other one. Mik giggled softly as they pulled away. Joey just gave him a look. Mik just smiled and pecked Joey's lips carefully and cuddled closer. 

"We still have to watch Untucked." Joey mumbled. He would have to watch himself sashay away again, how fun. 

"Oh right. This is going to be a mess," Mik said. 

They watched the safe queens complain about the fact that they felt like they did better and a few others should be safe instead of them. All hell broke loose as the queens that got critiques entered the workroom. Kandy and Tamisha fought and yelled and in the end Kandy left with Tina and Mik. The other queens just sat there and looked shocked. Joey and Lala prepared for the Lipsync while the other queens talked. They had to go back to the main stage and a short version of the elimination got shown. Joey sashayed away and they showed him write the mirror message and pack his bags. He found a note from Utica, which was really sweet. 

"I never noticed that you're left handed," Mik observed. Joey just smiled at that. 

"Should we check social media?" Mik asked carefully. 

"I don't want to," Joey mumbled nervously. 

"We have to eventually. I think I'm going to post a picture on Instagram," Mik told him. 

"Do that," Joey encouraged him. "I'll just wait till tomorrow." 

"It's only 7.30 p.m. what are you planning on doing if not check on social media and communicate with your fans? I get that you feel like you disappointed your fans, but they are standing behind you and celebrate you," Mik said. "Give me your phone." Joey gave it to Mik and unlocked it for him. Mik typed away something and handed it back. 

"What did you do?" Joey asked, a bit scared. 

"I found the pictures from your selfmade bag look and posted one of them with the caption 'First things first, I'm the realest.' You just have to put your photographer and stuff below it later. You don't have to look at it now and the fans won't notice anything because you posted something." 

"You're the best," Joey said tiredly and pressed a kiss on Mik's temple. 

"It's way too early to sleep, Angel." Mik chuckled. 

"It's not," Joey protested. 

"It is. We should do something that doesn't involve drag at all to get your mind away from it," the younger one suggested. 

"And what? Our whole lives are practically all about drag." 

"We could go back to the beach? Take some blankets with us maybe," Mik tried, remembering that Joey wanted to go back.

"Let's do that tomorrow. Can we just lay down and cuddle?" 

"Sure Angel," Mik said softly and pulled Joey up and guided them into the bedroom. They laid down and Mik let Joey rest his head on his chest. The older one put his arm around Mik's waist and cuddled close. Mik absentmindedly ran his fingers through Joey's light purple hair. 

"Your hair is so soft," Mik mumbled.

Joey hummed and quickly fell asleep. 

Mik took his phone and opened the messenger to see who had written him. The others all congratulated him on his first challenge win, but one message stood out.

Utica (8.10 p.m.): Condragulations on your win, Nugget. 

Is Joey okay? Do the others know he's with you at the moment?

Mik (8.20 p.m.): Thank you, Baby. He is sleeping right now. Everything is really exhausting for him. He wouldn't even look at social media. I posted the picture on Instagram for him. The others don't know, you are the only one. Are they worried?

Utica (8.21 p.m.): Yeah, they are worried because they haven't heard anything from him. I didn't tell them that he's with you, it's not my place.

They texted back and forth for a while and decided to tell the others to give Joey some space. He would talk to them when he was ready and that they shouldn't worry. 

Mik pressed a light kiss on Joey's hair and dozed off as well. 

In the middle of the night Mik woke up, tightly wrapped in Joey's arms. It made his heart ache. They would have to talk about the kiss, Mik knew that. It scared him. Had it just happened because Joey had needed emotional support? He felt like there could be something more, but he wasn't sure anymore. Touch was their love language and they had done that a lot in these last hours, even now. It made him even more nervous. Had Joey done it because he did it with everybody or because he wanted to be near him?

"Go back to sleep, I can hear you think," Joey grumbled half asleep. Mik sighed and tried to fall back asleep, nestled against Joey's chest. 

When Mik woke up the next morning he was alone in his bed. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and blinked. Where was Joey? Mik ungracefully rolled out of bed and opened the bedroom door. He heard Joey talk, probably in the kitchen. What was he doing? Mik slowly went after the voice and saw Joey sitting at the kitchen island on a barstool without a backplate, phone in hand. So he was facetiming someone. But who? He approached Joey and wrapped his arms around the older one's waist. 

"Good morning," he said and looked at Joey's phone to see who the other one was talking to. It was Kandy. 

"Morning, Baby." Joey smiled and turned his head to kiss Mik's cheek. Mik flushed red. Joey seemed to be better than the day before and that kind of relieved Mik. 

"Good morning, Mik," Kandy greeted. 

"What were you talking about?" Mik asked. 

"Oh nothing really. I just wanted to check in on Joey after last night's episode and no reaction to any of our messages," Kandy told him. Was there any other intention behind it? They all knew Kandy had a crush on Joey back when they were filming. Did he still have that crush? Mik felt conflicted. Joey had kissed him the night before, but what if he had feelings for Kandy instead? All those thoughts made him feel mixed emotions. "I didn't know he was with you though. He didn't tell me." Why hadn't Joey told him?

"You okay, Mik?" Kandy asked, looking a bit concerned. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, what should be wrong?" He answered a bit snappy, wrapping his arms tighter around Joey. 

"Mik?" Joey asked, a bit confused. Kandy looked like a lightbulb lit up over his head.

"Oh .. oh okay, I see. I'll go now, I uhm have something to do that I totally forgot about. Talk to you later, Loves," Kandy excused himself and ended the call. Joey's phone screen went black. 

They just stayed like that for a few moments, not moving an inch. Joey turned around and pulled Mik in between his legs, holding him close and looking into his eyes.

"What's going on?" Joey asked. 

"Nothing," Mik said, looking away. 

"Yeah, right. You're normally not that easy to irritate and even when you just wake up you're not that snappy. Please, tell me what's bothering you," Joey pleaded with worried eyes. 

"It's nothing, really. I'm just in my head." Mik still couldn't look at Joey.

"You know you can talk to me." Joey tried to get at least some kind of answer from Mik.

"I know. It's just so dumb. I have to think a bit about some stuff." Mik pulled away. It was too much being near Joey. He knew he searched for Joey's closeness as much as the other, but it was just too much all of a sudden. He knew he hurt Joey by pulling away and putting distance between them, but he needed it.

"I'm here if you want to talk," Joey said in a quiet voice and looked down. 

"Thanks," Mik whispered. "I'm going for a walk to clear my mind." 

"Okay. I should tell the others that everything is alright. Should I tell them I'm here?" Joey asked. 

"It's your decision. Utica and Kandy know, so I'm sure they all will know at some point. Utica won't tell anyone, he promised me that. I love Kandy but I'm not sure if he can keep it to himself," Mik answered. "I just have to change my clothes really quickly and then I'll go. Don't worry, I won't be long, just a few blocks." 

Mik quickly changed, took his phone and keys and was out of the door. He didn't look at Joey once as he walked out. 

Once he was outside he immediately called Rosé. He felt like the older one could give him some advice on his situation, or just listen, because Mik needed to talk about all this and before he wasn't sure what his problem was , he didn't want to talk to Joey. 

Mik searched for Rosé's number in his contacts, he didn't want to facetime while on a walk. 

"Hey." He was greeted.

"Denali?" Mik asked, confused.

"Yeah, I'm with Rosé right now," Denali said.

"Nali, give me my phone," Rosé demanded. Denali and Rosé quibbled a bit, but in the end Denali gave in. Mik chuckled. 

"Hey Love, what's up?" Rosé asked. 

"I'm on a walk right now, to clear my headspace and need someone to talk to."

"Wouldn't you normally talk to Joey about stuff like that?" Rosé questioned.

"I guess, but this is about Joey." Mik sighed. 

"So you finally came clear to yourself about your feelings for him?" He heard Denali ask.

"Sorry Babes, you're on speaker," Rosé apologized. 

"That's okay, maybe Denali can help too." Mik considered. "To answer your question, I actually did a few days ago. I talked with Rosé about it." 

"You did? Rosie you didn't tell me." Denali pouted. 

"Not my story to tell," Rosé said. "What can we help you with, Angel?" 

"Let's start with saying that Joey is visiting me right now." 

"So that's why nobody heard from him yesterday," Rosé guessed. 

"Yeah, but it was just a lot for him. We went to bed pretty early. Utica knows though. They facetimed yesterday morning and he saw me through the phone," Mik explained. 

"Okay, but what is your problem? You surely didn't call me or well us just because Joey is there," Rosé figured.

"You're right." Mik sighed again. "It's probably dumb that I'm freaking out like this." 

"Stop, I'm sure it's not dumb, whatever it is that has worked you up like this," Denali told him.

"Joey kissed me." Mik blurted out. 

"Oh. But that's great, isn't it?" Rosé asked. 

"Did you kiss back?" Denali asked excitedly. 

"Shut up, Nali. That's not the point here," Rosé chidded. 

"It's not bad per se. I'm just thinking about it a lot and if he just did it because he was vulnerable and needed this kind of physical support." 

"Do you really think Joey is like that?" Rosé asked softly. 

"No, but that's not everything," Mik began.

"Please tell me it's not what I'm thinking." Rosé took a deep breath. 

"Shut up you perv. No it's not that. It's just that every time I saw Kandy mentioning or talking to Joey on the television, my blood was boiling. This morning I walked in on them facetiming and I felt so possessive. I felt like I kind of hurt Joey because I couldn't talk about what's wrong. I'm insecure, because what if Joey has feelings for Kandy and the kiss was just an accident?" 

"I can assure you, Joey doesn't have feelings for Kandy. You're jealous, Baby," Rosé concluded softly. 

"I totally get that," Denali chimed in. "I get super jealous too when someone looks at Rosé the way Kandy looks at Joey." 

"Wait what? " Rosé asked, confused. "We'll talk about it later. Anyways, you are totally jealous, Mikky." 

"I guess. I never thought about that. My only focus right now is Joey. I have to talk to him about what happened and that scares me," Mik told them.

"Talking about feelings is always scary," Rosé said. "Just be honest and I'm sure everything will be fine." Mik heard how Denali was shuffling around in the background and whispered something to Rosé.

"I think you should go back," Rosé told him tentatively. 

"Why?" Mik asked, a bit scared.

"Joey texted with a few of our sisters and is worried crazy about you. You need to talk to him," Denali explained. 

"I'm not far away so I'll be there in like five minutes. I'm still scared guys," Mik said. 

"You'll be fine, now go. Call us if you need anything. Bye, Angel." Rosé said goodbye and ended the call. 

Mik was on his own now and he was scared. He practically sprinted back because he was worried about Joey. 

"I am back," Mik called, out of breath as he stumbled inside the apartment. 

"Hey." Joey answered from the living room. Mik slowly approached him. The older one sat cross legged on the couch, his phone laid on one leg, looking at Mik with glassy gray eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Mik asked as he sat down next to Joey, squeezing his thigh. 

"I was worried," Joey said.

"Why? I just needed to clear my headspace a bit, that happens. I didn't want to worry you. I'm sorry," Mik apologized. They sat there for minutes in a weird uncomfortable silence, not looking at each other. 

Joey opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something, but closed it again. Neither of them knew what to say or how to begin talking. Joey shifted and sat sideways on the couch. 

"Come here," Joey said and opened his arms. Mik tentatively moved over and sat with his back against the older one's chest. He couldn't look at Joey right now, that's why he chose that position. Joey's arms automatically wrapped around him. The younger one let out a deep breath and snuggled closer to Joey.

"What is going on inside your mind?" Joey asked quietly. 

"A lot," Mik confessed. "I just don't know how to communicate it."

"Take your time. We have all the time you want. If you can't find words, it's okay for me to just stay like this for a while. I just want to understand you better.." Joey offered. 

"Thanks," Mik mumbled. He tried to organise the chaos in his head, but it wasn't working. Where was he supposed to start? With the kiss or his jealousy? Would Joey understand or would he think he was a fool? 

"Why did you come running back?" Joey asked. 

"Denali told me you're worried. I didn't want to worry you more," Mik said.

"Denali?" Joey seemed confused.

"Yeah. I wanted to talk to Rosé, but Denali answered. I talked to both of them in the end," Mik told him.

"Why did you talk to Rosé?" The older one inquired.

"I needed some advice ," Mik confessed.

"Okay," Joey simply said.

"It helped a bit, but I'm still trying to organise the chaos in my head." Mik groaned.

"Can I help?" Joey wanted to know.

"I don't know. I just fear that if I tell you, that you think I'm stupid or overreacting," Mik said meekly.

"Why would I think you're stupid? Remember that I said on the first episode, that I am the dumbest bitch you'll ever meet," Joey tried to cheer him up.

"Yeah, you said that, but I lost my shoe while walking around." Mik laughed a little.

"What has you so confused?" Joey asked after a while. 

"You and me." 

"Us?" 

"Yeah. You kissed me yesterday and we didn't talk about it. I just don't know what to think. I thought that maybe it could mean more for us, but I'm not sure anymore. You needed emotional support yesterday, but was that all? I don't want to hold anything against you that I'm not sure about, but it makes me question everything so much. I really like having you around and spending time with you. You're really important to me, but I feel a raging fire inside whenever someone jokingly flirts with you. I don't have any right to feel that way, but I can't change it. All these emotions are too much for me right now and I feel like running away from them, but that wouldn't help and sooner or later I would be confronted with them," Mik rambled.

Joey didn't say anything, just held Mik. The minutes Joey didn't say anything felt like an eternity to Mik as he began to tear up.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" He asked, feeling unsure as tears began to slip down his cheeks. Mik tried to wiggle out of Joey's arms, but the older one held him and turned Mik around so that he was straddling Joey's lap. Joey softly brushed the tears away and looked Mik into the eyes. 

"I had to think of how to phrase this," Joey said. "I really like you. I kissed you because it felt right in that moment, not because I felt shitty that day or moment. We were always so flirty with each other that I just took a chance. I didn't know you had this many thoughts about it. We should have talked about it yesterday, but I didn't even think about the fact that you could get that much into your head about it. I wanted to talk to you this morning, maybe ask you out on a date, but you were so weird and just left me sitting here. I talked with Utica, Kandy and Denali over text and got very emotional and I worried about you. Denali reassured me that you are fine and I shouldn't worry. Little did I know you were talking to him too. I just want to be there for you and I want to be the one you can talk to, about your day, something you saw on the internet or just about your emotions and feelings." 

"I like you too," Mik told Joey. He didn't know what else to say, so he pressed his lips against Joey's to affirm his feelings. Joey almost immediately kissed back. It felt familiar, like coming home after a long stressful day. Joey pulled away first. 

"We should talk more," he mumbled.

"Later," Mik said and rested his head on Joey's shoulder. 

"It's probably not wise though." Joey knitted his eyebrows. "I still have a few questions."

"Okay, talk." Mik sighed.

"What are we now?" The older one wanted to know. 

"I don't know. I feel like we should try and see what happens," Mik suggested. 

"So you would go on a date with me?" Joey asked hopeful.

"I'd love to." Mik smiled. 

"Great." Joey smiled too, relief in his eyes. "I have another question though. Are you jealous because of Kandy?"

"Yeah. I hate it, but I can't switch it off. You even told me you're here with me and not him, but I still can't stop it," Mik said and buried his face deeper into Joey's shoulder. 

"It's okay. It's kinda cute actually," Joey confessed. "But why are you jealous?"

"I don't really know. Well I know it's because I like you and don't want to lose you," Mik mumbled. 

"You're not losing me," Joey told him softly. 

"I know that now," Mik said tiredly. 

They sat in silence again, enjoying the closeness they had without the weird tension between them. 

"Let's go to the beach tomorrow and take some blankets with us," Joey suggested. "We can't do much for a first date right now, so let's just spend some time together outside of your apartment." 

"That sounds great." Mik yawned. The whole day had been really exhausting for him, even though it wasn't even lunch time yet. 

"Sleep a bit, Angel." Joey laid down and let Mik rest on his chest. 

The rest of the day they stayed on the couch, cuddling, watching TV and facetiming with Rosé and Denali. The other ones were relieved that everything was good again between them. Mik and Joey noticed that something was different between the two. They didn't push them, they would tell their story when they were ready.

On the next day they went to the beach as they had planned the day before. They held hands as they walked in the sand and searched for a good spot to put the blankets. They talked a lot, cuddled and just enjoyed the time they had together. 

The day Joey had to drive back to Phoenix came way too fast and they both dreaded it. They had luck that they didn't live as far away as others, but they still didn't want to part at that point. They hadn't put a label on what they were, but they knew they wanted to try. Mik was going to visit Joey the following week. They hadn't decided for how long and they were both excited to spend more time together and explore their forming relationship.


End file.
